Love Dare: Day 4 & 5, I’ll explain…

Good Monday, kids! Finally the kids are back in school, my daycare is back to full capacity & the routines get back to normal! Never been so happy for a Monday to get here!!

If you didn’t see my post on my simplysjb Facebook page, I will not be writing over the weekends because we have a lot going on with club basketball this time of year. So with no further adieu, lets get back into the Love Dare!!

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MKB, Junior Year
1988

Last Fri. I was to buy something for MKB that showed him I was thinking of him during the day. I was worried about not getting time to get out & get it, but I did. I made the effort for him. That was the last good thing that happened with this dare. 😦  Friday was a busy day & night, so I didn’t get to give MKB his gift until Sat. morning. Things were not going well Sat. morning, so the attitude I had & the atmosphere in the house was all bad when I gave it to him. His receiving of the gift was less then thrilling, so that made things worse. This dare turned into a big fat fail, so I will table it for now & hopefully do it again, further down the “dare road”. If at first you don’t succeed, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The love dare for day 4 is to text or call your spouse sometime during the day & ask if they need anything, or just check to see how their day is going. I’m skipping this dare & moving onto dare #5 because MKB & I already text throughout the day. Whenever he has a break, we text. So yay us, for already doing something that is considered a good thing!!

Love Dare # 5

Love Is Not Rude!

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.

Proverbs 27:14.

I was reading this chapter in bed last night & the first sentence in the chapter stood out as something I thought my husband & I could both hear, so I read it out loud to him.

“Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.”  True that!!

At the end of the chapter it says “If you’re thinking that your spouse-not you-is the one who needs work in this area, you’re likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness.” Harsh! But look what I did, I read this out loud to MKB because I thought HE needed to hear it, not me! Whoops. 

Further on I read something else I thought MKB would appreciate, so read aloud to him again:

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24. To which MKB responded “Yep!” & proceeded to tell me which corner of the roof he’d prefer. He’s so funny. *I’m being sarcastic in case you can’t tell.

The rest of the chapter talks about how we could be grumpy, pouty or down right rude to our spouse behind closed doors, but the minute the doorbell rings, we are all smiles & happiness when we answer it. Why is that? How can we treat the most important people in our lives like that, but to everyone else we are so sweet & kind? We are even nicer to strangers than we are our loved ones! This is something I really want to change because I do act this way. I want to treat my husband & kids BETTER than I do a stranger!!

Todays dare is to ask MKB to list 3 things that make him uncomfortable or irritated with me. I must do it without attacking him after he answers. Since I was already reading this with him beside me, I went ahead & completed my dare.

The 3 things he listed were:

  1. You make everything my fault
  2. You worry to much
  3. You are angry a lot lately

Then he asked: “WHAT are you READING??” Since I don’t want him to know I’m doing the love dare, I told him it’s just a book on being a better wife. I’m reading it on my Kindle, so I could tell him I’m reading 50 Shades of Grey & he wouldn’t know any better. Then he said “GOOD!” Again, he’s just a laugh riot.

Alright. Now I have my answers. I was good & held my attacks on his answers. Even though I really

sjb, senior year        1992

sjb, senior year
1992

wanted to jump at #1. But I didn’t. I just asked him to continue. Now I am supposed to think about how I’m going to improve in these areas. Oh man. I don’t know? Actually, the hardest one to hear, #1, will probably be the easiest to fix. I do know I can spin every problem around to make it his fault, so I will work on taking my own responsibility for problems. I was surprised to hear I worry to much, because that is something I already work hard on. I’m much better at giving my problems to God than I used to be. But he must hear me worry more than I hear myself. #3 goes with what I mentioned earlier about treating my family better than I treat strangers. I do know I can improve on that. What was hard for me to not say was “so could you!”, to all of those answers but I remembered this is about me being a better wife, not about trying to make him into the husband I want him to be.

Some observations I’ve had so far

  • This started out really easy. All the way up to day #3 was a breeze. But day 4 & 5 have proven to be hard & I only suspect it to get harder as I go on.
  • Not letting MKB know what I am doing is becoming hard! When I gave him his gift & he didn’t really seem to care, I wanted to lose it. I was already in a bad mood, but I wanted to say “I’m doing this HUGE metamorphosis for you & you don’t even care!” But I can’t attack him like that because:
  1. He HAS done some really sweet things in return for my improved behavior.
  2. He doesn’t know I’m doing the Love Dare, so how can I yell at him for not appreciating it?

Ok, that’s all for today, kids. Since I wrote about 2 Love Dares in this post, I’ll close now to give your eyes a break. I’ll pick up tomorrow with Love Dare #6. Lord, help me! It’s another hard one.

Til next time,

sjb

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One thought on “Love Dare: Day 4 & 5, I’ll explain…

  1. Thank you so much!! The farther I get into this, the more I am struggling!! You’ll probably see it in my future posts! 😉 But I think 40, well 34 days from now, it will all be worth it! 🙂

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