Love Dare: Day 6; Love Is Not Irritable

Here we are at day 6 & I feel like it’s day 66. Just for the record, I am not reading ahead in the book. I am taking the days as they come. Today so far has been the most convicting to me. Sadly I think I’ve said that, or at least thought it, all previous days, but this day’s topic describes me almost to a T.

It’s not a good thing either. Makes me wonder why I’m sharing this with the world because some of it is embarrassing. I guess I’m hoping that other wives & mothers will relate to me. My true hope is to make them not want to give up. There was a reason you married that man of yours. Marriage is a big commitment! So if you are having troubles & want to fix them, stop looking at your husband & his faults & take a look at yourself. That is what my new motto is anyway.

Ok, off my soapbox, on with the dare!

Love Dare, Day 6

Love Is Not Irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

Proverbs 16:32

They say love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. Not in the Boyer household. I am SO easily offended. It’s not even funny. MKB looks at me wrong & I’m wondering what the heck did I do??!! Honestly, just last night he shot me a look & I asked him what did I do wrong? He was dumbfounded because he had no idea he had even shot me a look. I need serious help in the area. I am taking ANY advice anyone is willing to share. Seriously.

I never used to be this way & I truly don’t know when I started to become so easily offended or why I can’t stop this annoying behavior. It really bothers me because it’s an ugly characteristic.

“A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control. She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleaseantly during prickly situations.”  That sounds all well & good, but I’ve got this attitude that if I am going to be ridiculed (which is a stronger word than I really should be using, but I’m drama walking when it comes to this subject) I am not going to just sit & take it. I’m going to stand up for myself!! The next sentence says “Ask yourself, “Are you a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?” Uh, ya…Tropical Storm SJB hits the shores daily.

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MKB’s Graduation Party
May 1989

This chapter offers a little help in telling me why I feel the way I do. Stress is one reason. It weighs me down, drains my energy, weakens my health & invites me to be angry. It lists a bunch of reasons for stress & I pin pointed mine. Sorry, I won’t be sharing which one with you. It’s a bit too personal for me to share I guess. But somehow defining my stressor has already helped me feel better. Strange, huh?

The book suggests a few bible passages to pray each time I am feeling stressed. The one for my stressor is one I already pray weekly; Philippians 4:6-7. Guess I should step that up to praying it daily. Or even hourly some days!

The next suggestion of why I am so easily offended is selfishness. Ok…I’m getting a little annoyed with this “selfishness” bit. 6 days in & I’ve read that word over 50 times. Yes, I see where selfishness can cause all sorts of problems, but I am really not that selfish. I do think of myself as putting others before me. But I read on anyway. Annoyed I might add. Good thing because I learned this:

“selfishness also wears many masks”.  They are lust, bitterness, greed & pride. I can identify with a couple of those.

Lust, defined as wanting something others have. I mentioned in a previous post that I do have an issue with seeing someone with a lot of nice things & wondering why them & not me? Why can’t I have all the luxuries of life? Pitty party, pitty party!!

Bitterness, because I keep thinking about how unfair it is that we do without extras. Bitterness is nasty. It can build in you & turn you into a rather nasty person. It makes you on edge & “snappy” at people when you don’t really intend to be.

Greed, because I always wanted more. I say this in the past tense because since I DO know I am easily offened, I have been working on it for over a year now. I learned from watching Joyce Meyer, that if you can learn to be content with what you have instead of yearning for things you do not, you will become a much happier person. She was right!

Pride was one more example, but it is something I don’t think I have an issue with. I have become very comfortable in who I am. My ego is not bigger than it should be.

The book says by focusing on love it will lower your stress & help release the venom that can build up inside. By acting in love, I will find patience. That would be lovely. 🙂

Todays dare is to react  to tough circumstances in my marriage in a loving way instead of with irritation. I am supposed to make a list of areas where I need to add margin to my shedule. Then list any wrong motives that I need to release from my life.

I guess I’ve already listed my wrong motives…wanting what others have, stressing too much over a problem & I need to continue to be content with what I have. Now I just need to keep patient & calm the next time I am feeling easily offened. I will have to stop & think what is really behind that feeling. I am betting I will realize it has nothing to do with what MKB has said or done. I am betting it will almost always be an outer lying matter, which means I will have no reason to be lashing out at him. This is not going to be the easiest thing since I tend to talk before I think, but I promise I will work very hard on turning that around!

Til next time, kids…

sjb

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2 thoughts on “Love Dare: Day 6; Love Is Not Irritable

  1. Great post, SJB! I’m really enjoying following your progress through the Love Dares… and I think we can all relate to the things you posted about today. I know for sure that I’m easily offended (WAY too sensitive– I even remember being that way as a child), bitter, and selfish in one way or another. Thanks for writing about this! Your journey is helping someone!

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