Love Dare; Day 7, Love Believes the Best!

FINALLY! A happy post where I don’t have to admit all my short comings! Phew! I was getting emotionally drained from all that confessing!

I could’ve made yesterday’s post into a 2 parter. I was still thinking of jealousies I need to let go of yet this morning! But today is a happy day! I get to brag on MKB. It’s one of my new favorite things to do. Let’s get started!

Love Dare # 7

Love Believes the Best

Love Believes all things, hopes all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Dr. Chapman says there are 2 private rooms in your heart. One is called the Appreciation Room. “This is where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging thoughts about your spouse.” These would be all the things you discovered about your spouse when you were dating. His eyes, his manners the way he dressed, etc. You fall in love in this room. 

The other room is called the Depreciation Room. This room is where you store all the things you dislike about your spouse. He snores, he’s lazy, he’s a jerk. You even store those phrases you think of after a fight & think “Dang! Why didn’t I think of that earlier? No matter, I’ll rehearse it a few times & use it next time because I’m SURE there will be a next time!”  You fall out of love in this room. Especially if you choose to dwell here.

Sadly after you’ve been married awhile, you start to spend more time in the Depreciation Room than you do the Appreciation Room. I know I have. I’ve got all sorts of rehearsed fights saved up in a filing cabinet there. But after reading this chapter I am going to return to that room only once more. When I go back I am going to go in, look through all the bad things I have “written” in those files and cover them in love. Dr. Chapman says the negative things you put in this room actually tell you how to pray for your spouse. For MKB, one thing I will turn from a complaint into a prayer is his listening skills. We have been a couple for almost 25 years (Good gravy! That snuck up on me! 25 years!!). We are now able to complete each other’s sentences & almost always know what the other is thinking without even having to talk. But there are times when he is wrong about what is on my mind. So I will be praying that he will start listening to me better. Really hearing what I am saying. 

Who knows what was said, but this is the MKB I love the most!
Oct. 1994

After leaving the Depreciation Room, I will move into the Appreciation Room & focus on all the things I love about MKB. I will reflect on all the things that made me fall in love with him & also think about the new things I’ve discovered about him over the years. This is where it gets fun because I love a lot of things about MKB!! Part of my dare today is to make a list of positive things about MKB. I’ll start my list here:

1. He is kind hearted. He’ll do anything for anyone in need.
2. He has a strong work ethic. It was the first thing my grandpa noticed about him. When grandpa told me MKB was a keeper, that sealed the deal for me!
3. He is very dependable. When something needs to be done, he does it!
4. He has a quick wit & dry sense of humor. Some people don’t get it, but I love it!
5. His eyes. Oh my STARS! They are the most beautiful eyes & they are enhanced by those gorgeous thick eyebrows & long eye lashes. ::sigh:: 
   

   Seriously, kids! How can you not look into those eyes & not fall in love?
   Fall 1992

6. He is an excellent father. Our girls will never doubt his love for them. He always wants & does what is best for them. He always puts their needs before his.
7. He is smart. The man can do math in his head faster than I can do it on a calculator. It’s nuts!
8. No matter what we go through, I never doubt his love for me. He is more patient than I am, he is more forgiving than I am & he keeps me grounded when I would rather fly off in an emotional rage. 
9. He is interesting. He has a lot of interests that he likes to share with me & the girls. We are all more rounded because of all that he teaches us.
10. He is supportive. No matter what crazy idea I’ve had over the course of our marriage, he has supported it. And when it fails, he doesn’t say “I told you so!”, (always) He hugs me & tells me I’ll do better next time. 

There are 10 positives off the top of my head. For today’s dare, I am supposed to write these out on a piece of paper as well as some negative things about MKB & save them for a future exercise. But for now, I am to pick one of my positives & thank MKB for having that characteristic. I can do that! Yay! A EASY day!! 🙂

I want to take a moment to thank all of you for your support during this love dare! I’ve received private messages, texts & emails saying you are liking what I am writing & like that I share my honesty! I truly appreciate your kind words & am so relieved you aren’t thinking I’m the biggest witch that walked God’s green earth! 

If any of you are willing, I’d love for you to share your experience doing the Love Dare in the comments below. It really helps to know you aren’t alone! A little encouragement goes a long way! Believe me!! 

This post is also linked up with the Women Living Well Valentine’s Day Marriage Challenge! You can visit their site by clicking on this icon:

Til next time, kids!

sjb