Love Dare, Day 12; Love Lets The Other Win

I am stubborn. MKB is stubborn. In the past we have butted heads on a lot of things. But after a while, I just got tired of always disagreeing & not even bothering to see his point of view.

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4

When I chose to be willing to listen to him, things started to change. Fights didn’t last long, problems actually got resolved because I found that MKB actually had some good points & ideas. But something else happened when I “gave in”. MKB started to listen to ME too! We’ve started communicating better because we are now listening to each other. He will tell me when I’m right & I will tell him when he is right. I don’t know about you, but having to spit out the words “you’re right” was hard the first few times for me. But after a while, & after hearing them said to me, it got easier.

We are also setting a better example for our girls. We are showing them how to problem solve in a constructive way. We are showing them our love for each other by being open-minded with each other. No yelling or sitting & pouting involved.

I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s this way all the time. From time to time we fall back into old patterns, but not for long. Once you start doing something that is right, if you go off track it feels terrible & you quickly want to get back on track! With us both being so stubborn, I never thought we’d be able to see eye to eye on anything, but with a little give & take on each side, now we do. And it is simply wonderful! But I had to be the first to give in & listen. It was the best decision I ever made.

Love Dare #12

Love Lets The Other Win

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you & your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

But you say “Why should I be the one to give in? I  know my way is right!” Well, think of it this way…does it really matter who is right & who is wrong? In the grand scheme of things, is it going to make that much difference?

A simple example would be picking out a movie to go see together. He wants shoot ’em up, knock ’em down movies, you want a romantic comedy. Just this once, can’t you give in to his choice? Will it harm you in any way? Probably not. Go a step further & when you see a movie advertisement you know your spouse would like, suggest you go see it together. It will knock their socks off!

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On bigger issues, this way of communicating is so awesome! MKB & I do have a large issue to work through right now. It is the first time we’ve been so “grown up” while talking through a problem. We are working together to come up with solutions, not against each other just so we can mark it as a “win” in our column. I’m very hopeful that we’ll get over, around or through this mountain soon because I feel together we can do anything, against each other, nothing gets done.

Til next time, kids…

sjb

 

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