Love Dare, Day #15: Love Is Honorable

Monday has rolled around again! Why do the weekends fly by so fast? Boy, did we have an eventful weekend here!

We had our date night on Saturday & it was great! We went & saw Lincoln. I highly recommend it if you have not seen it.

Then on Sunday MKB found out about the Love Dare. 😦 He was bored, so he got on my Facebook page & was reading through the posts. I sort of freaked out on him because I figured he saw one of the posts I had put up linking back to my blog. He hadn’t, but then wanted to know why I was so freaked out? What was I hiding? To keep peace & quash any absurd notions, I had to tell him I’ve been doing the Love Dare for the last 2 weeks & journaling my progress on my blog. I had him read one of the posts & he was a bit touched. Not knocked over with a feather touched, like I would’ve been, but he did think it was sweet. I asked him if he had noticed a change in my behavior.  You’ve got to know MKB to understand his reply, “Oh yes. I’ve noticed you’ve been really, really nice.” Translation: “I had no clue.”

Our 1st married Christmas together.           1996

Our 1st married Christmas together.
1996

So here we are at the beginning of week 3. It’s no longer a secret, which takes a lot of the fun out of it for me, but I’ll carry on. And maybe I’ll try a little harder so he can actually tell I’m trying to change my attitude. 😉

Love Dare #15

Love Is Honorable

Love your wives in an understanding way…and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.

1 Peter 3:7

The word “Honor” was in our marriage vows. Right before that word “obey” that I had taken out. 😉 I never understood the weight of the word “honor” until I read this chapter. It means to give someone respect & hold them in high esteem, to treat them as being special & of great worth.

We honor our fathers & mothers (hopefully) & we honor authority. Honor is something we say when we want to show true value for a person. I  try to honor MKB, but it’s not always easy for me.

The chapter suggests that to truly honor your husband (or wife) is to look only at them when they speak, not 1 eye on the tv or hidden behind the computer or newspaper. When you need to make an important decision, you listen to your mate & actually hear their opinion. You show them they matter in every way.

But what if you don’t feel honored by your spouse? It makes you think “Why should I honor them when I get nothing in return?”  Dr. Chapman says that isn’t even an issue when it comes to love. “Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.”

I’m not going to lie. Sometimes that happens here. But it’s a two-way street. There are times when MKB is going out of his way to be nice to me & I don’t reciprocate. Then there are times when I am the one going above & beyond & he could care less. That leaves me feeling rejected & vengeful. I start saving up things for my “Future Fight File” & think “Next time he is nice to me, I will act just like he did & not care! That will show him.”  No, it doesn’t show him anything except that I’m mean & ungrateful. If you keep doing the same thing, you’ll keep getting the same result. So be the bigger person & be the one to change! “That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.”

Today’s Dare:

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for  her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen & speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Whatever you do, do it expecting nothing in return. Then you won’t set yourself up for heartache if you do get nothing back. And remember, these dares keep building on each other. So choose to honor your spouse every day. Not just today! 😉

Til next time, kids…

sjb

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