Well this chapter wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I was expecting it to be on…well, you know, looove in the marriage. But instead it’s about baggage & trust.
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
What that verse is saying, I think, is if your spouse has shared a secret with you from their past, you are to cover it in love and keep that secret, not hold it over them or make them fear you will share that secret with others.
There is no closer relationship than the one between a husband and wife. Yes, you can be close with your siblings, your parents or a friend, but no one knows you, warts and all, as well as your spouse.
MKB & I did not enter our marriage with a lot of baggage. We come from fairly similar backgrounds and were raised with the same set of morals & beliefs. So this isn’t really an issue for us. I don’t know any deep dark secrets of MKB’s because I honestly don’t think he has any. We are both typically very boring. Ha, ha.
During the course of our marriage I guess we’ve been through a few things that would fall under the category of baggage, but since we went through these times together, we were blessed to come out stronger in the end. In fact, we were at our best when we were down and out and had no one else to turn to who would really understand what we were feeling. We have developed an undoubting trust in each other. We know we can always count on each other. I have learned to be grateful for those tough times because of the great reward it gave us both.
But not everyone is as lucky as us. Some do come into a marriage with a lot of baggage: past hurts, abuse, financial problems, trust issues. This chapter says to “wrap all this private information about them in the protective embrace of your love, and promise to be the one who can best help them deal with it.” Your marriage needs to be a place of safety, for both of you.
If you and your spouse do not have trust right now, it is time to re-establish it.
Love Dare #17
Love Promotes Intimacy
Determine to guard your mate’s secrets & pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.
Til next time, kids…